it was during that summer that I was in a car with my dad, and my life began to change. my dad, who was renewed with his zeal for the church (beforehand in Pullman, there was less prayer and less zeal, in my retrospect) put in a CD he had found and bought online, it was titled "Father John Corapi's Amazing Story."
he told me to listen to it while I was in the car, and I thought "oh, crap. this is gonna be some story that will just be all flowers and rainbows about God." I was thankfully wrong.
after listening to his story about his return to God, I was (in my mind) not affected by it. in retrospect, I know why this CD had changed my life. it had changed my life because it was the first time I actually listened to a preist who challenged my life and how I lived it! beforehand, I had only listened to priests who spoke words of flowers and rainbows! all they had done was stroke my ego on being Catholic, AND I WAS FINALLY TIRED OF IT! I know now that, deep down, I wanted a challenge in being Catholic. I wanted a challenge to actually live out my faith!
but now, to continue my story...
so, after a summer working at a Boy Scout Camp, I began to read my required books for homeschooling. I didn't like it, and was actually adamantly against a few books.
the one that I was most against was titled "Jesus Christ, Lord of History." My thoughts were "'lord of history??' Jesus wasn't influential to any of history, he didn't do anything to history!" history to me was like science to me at that time: completely and refreshingly void of God's influence. They could fret and fight but, to me, they were powerless to change it.
nonetheless, it was required that I do my homework and read this abomination of a book. I began reading with a skeptical mind, and when I finished reading the second chapter, I had my claims of Christ's non-influence wiped away by complete reason and evidence provided in this book; so I began to read more. This book had become my defibulators to my already-dead concience. it had now started speaking up again, and what it had to say was what had changed my life, for it began speaking in broken record format. If I did anything that God would object to, my conciense would start repeating words that someone had said that would get me to stop, and he would say them over and over until I stopped. and he still does do that more than he actually speaks to me.
this book had brought me closer to God, and I was beginning to learn to love the Faith. but I was still not living it out to the full. I was no longer a vocal supporter for abortion and gay rights, but I was not speaking out against it either. I was too scared to live out my faith.
eh, I'll finish this later.
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